The Stupid Bowl written by Sam

My dad, is the smartest, strangest, most talented, simplest, yet most complicated man alive. I'm sure of it. Conflicted you say? well, yes. But many famous people shared such conflicting attributes: Einstein, Newton, Howard Hughes... And with such conflicting characteristics also came the occasional bursts of genius. I submit that the following idea that came from my father was that of the genius nature. But you can decide for yourself.

This idea has the potential to change, not only football, but ALL sports around the world FOREVER and likewise has the potential to drastically increase sports sales and fan base. The brilliant theory is this: "The Stupid Bowl". It's like the Super Bowl in which the two best teams of the year are competing for the title of "Best Team of the Year". However, in this case the two worst teams of the year would be fighting to avoid the prize of "Worst Team of the Year". Winners of the stupid bowl are actually the losers.

I believe that the the teams in the Stupid Bowl would fight with double the gusto of the teams in the Super Bowl. I really think that the desire to avoid being the biggest loser is greater than the desire to be the biggest winner. And what a game it would be!

Think about it! Rather than watch two equally gifted teams we could watch two equally stupid teams doing all they can just scrambling to survive, just so that they don't have to be deemed the Stupid Bowl winner, which would actually be the loser. Who wants to watch the Colts and the Saints when we could watch the Lions and the Bills?Imagine all the excitement we have been missing out on with those professionally trained teams. At the Stupid Bowl we would have double the penalties, double the fumbles, interceptions, fights, and double the running the wrong way to the opponents end zone.

And this just begins with football. This would spread to soccer, basketball, table-tennis, figure skating. . . It gets better the more I think about it. Limitless potential!

Who's with me? If anything it would be an opportunity to see some of the strongest, biggest, and most over-paid men red in the face, embarrassed, humbled. Heck I bet we could make em cry! I don't know about you, but I love to see a good millionaire cry.

Dad, you are brilliant!

Mad Scientist

So, I have no idea why I'm doing this but I felt that it would be fun to compile a list of everything I've dissected over the years. Oh the "fun" that we biology majors have. Haha.

8th Grade:
Watched my science teacher dissect a fetal pig

9th Grade:
Dissected a fetal pig pretty much by myself. The girls in my group wouldn't touch it. We got the perfect pig though. Other groups got hairy, oozy piggies and that was ever so gross.

10th Grade:
Didn't dissect anything but my hand in chemistry lab. Shattered a glass tube right in to my palm. It was the first lab of the year. Great way to start things. Got me out of PE for a while. I do believe that was the only time my chemistry teacher was nice to me. Curse her.

11th Grade:
Dissected a cow eye and a sheep heart for AP Biology. Those were probably my favorite ones. Cow's eyes are gigantic.

12th Grade:
I don't think we did any dissections but I did have to job shadow 3 people in fields that I found interesting. I chose a podiatrist, an orthopedic surgeon and a maxiofacial surgeon. At the podiatrist's office I watched him remove ingrown toenail after ingrown toenail. One little 3 year old girl had to be held down by 2 nurses and her mother because she was so afraid of needles they couldn't numb her for the procedure. :( I had to leave for that one. I couldn't stand to hear her scream. At the orthopedic surgeon's office I got to see way more old people butts than I wanted because he was doing post-op check ups on their hip replacements. At the maxiofacial surgeon's office I watched him remove wisdom teeth and heard the teeth crunching out of the jaw bone. I had just gone to the dentist that morning and was still terribly numb from the worst cavity filling experience I've ever had. Not a happy day.

Freshman Year of College:
Made our own yogurt and spliced a glow gene from bacteria in to the DNA of bacteria and it made them glow. No dissections though.

Sophomore Year of College:
No dissections. Just trying to get all my credits done for my Associates.

Junior Year of College:
Dissected a black and white rat we named Oreo. Again, my lab partners wouldn't touch it so I did the whole thing. We dissected a starfish that I seriously couldn't handle. I didn't think it would be gross but oh my goodness I could barely bring myself to touch it. I'm not a fan of things that come from the sea unless they're marine mammals.

Senior Year of College:
So far just a lamprey which is another disgusting thing from the sea. I just dissected it yesterday and it cut like soft string cheese. I'm glad I could ruin that food for all of you. But in this same class the docket is full of dissections. Here's the list: salamander, rat, sheep heart, dogfish (a kind of shark), sheep kidney, and sheep brain. Oh and we have to examine cadavers that another class will be dissection. NOT excited for that. I thought I could get through my whole college experience without having to do cadavers but they got me my last semester. :(

For those of you that are not biology majors I hope you've enjoyed this extensive list of my schooling experiences. I decided not to bore you with the labs that we had to draw phylogenies or draw things in jars, or sticking things in tubes and put them in machines and such. Biology: Not for those that get grossed out easily. And I have to let you all know I cut myself on a microscope the first or second week of class. Leave it to me to find the one sharp corner on a microscope. I definitely deserve a Bachelor's in Biology. Ha

I'm out.

Whit