Great Thought For Today

A friend on Facebook posted this quote today and I loved it.

"You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you're still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory."
-- Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I was told something similar a long time ago but hadn't thought of it in a while. I encourage you all to say these words to yourselves, "I am a victor! I am triumphant over my past!"

Whitney

Just to Clear Things Up

After my last blog post my parents have been fielding a lot of questions from friends and family. I just wanted to let everyone know that no one in my immediate or extended family was involved in my abuse. I didn't tell my parents about it until after I was married. They don't know any of the details so come to me if you have questions. I am very open and willing to talk about it. Know that I am fine and have put this all behind me. I would really like to help others that have struggled with this issue even if I am just someone to talk to. Thank you all for your concern. I hope that cleared up any confusion.

Perks of Being a Wallflower

I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked this movie. My sister just wrote a great blog post about how Perks affected her. You should check it out: http://lifeisabutte.blogspot.com/. She mentions that the "We are infinite." line really resonated with her. I'm glad she posted this because it reminded me how the movie made me feel and the specific lines that stuck with me. I have been meaning to post about it but have kept putting it off. I texted them to myself that night so I wouldn't forget them.

There were two lines in particular that went straight through me. The first being, "We accept the love we think we deserve." In the movie I believe this is when Charlie is asking Sam why she dates dirt bags. I felt my heart fissure when I heard this line and my eyes instantly welled up. As someone who is a sexual abuse survivor this brought flash backs to the time in my life that I thought I deserved the treatment I was getting. I believed that I didn't deserve any better. I was broken and confused and thought that I loved and was loved by that person. In that small moment of the movie I went through many thoughts and emotions in an instant. I thought back to that time specifically. I thought about the struggles I had with guilt and my self-worth. I thought about the group therapy I went through and how terrifying and hard that was. I thought about the shining moments when I remembered that I was worth so much more than I thought; that I did deserve true love and respect. I am so glad to be in a place in my life where I have the love of my life by my side who treats me like a queen and makes me feel so wonderful.

The second line that struck me was "We can't choose where we come from but we can choose where we go from there." This was at the end of the movie when Charlie is talking to the doctor. That brought a fresh wave of tears. These were more inspiring tears than sad. The truth of the statement is what set me off. The truth that you can move on from whatever your past was. You can become who you want to become regardless of your past. I can turn my experiences into teaching opportunities or use them as connections to other people that may need help or someone to relate to. I have heard of other people who have had similar experiences to mine and have let it consume their whole life and can't see a way beyond it. My heart aches for them because I have been there. Our free agency allows us to choose to focus on the negative/past or the positive/future. I am eternally grateful that I have been able to find the positive and move on. This is greatly due to my amazing support system of family and friends. Choose today to live a happy life. Don't let your troubled past win. Choose to surround yourself with people that truly love you and respect you. Don't waste your time on people that bring you down. Love yourself. I know it is hard but I know you can do it! I still struggle with things and I continue to learn more and more about myself all the time. Please know that I am very open with what happened to me and if you need someone to talk to (even anonymously, find me on ask.fm) I am here for you. Keep your head up and become who you are supposed to be!

Whitney